Broken Spirit, Hindered Dream
by fauxvision
Summary: It's a double edged sword, this thing called competition, and both Haru and Rin are feeling pressure from it. But Haru finds it's more intense on Rin's side, more like an obsession, and he wonders what the reason is. "What is it you're hoping to accomplish?" Haru asks him. "What is it you really want?" [After the change room scene in episode 5] RinHaru fic.


**Rated: **T  
**Pairing: **Rin x Haru  
**Warning: **Yaoi (male x male)

**Summary:** It's a double edged sword, this thing called competition, and both Haru and Rin are feeling pressure from it. But Haru finds it's more intense on Rin's side, more like an obsession, and he wonders what the reason is. "What is it you're hoping to accomplish?" Haru asks him. "What is it you really want?" **(After the change room scene in episode 5)**

**A/N: I ran into someone stealing my previous Free! fic, and it did not make me happy at all. Please know if you chose to take it, I will find out; things always come to light, so think twice before plagiarizing. Now back to our regularly scheduled program!**

**Broken Spirit, Hindered Dream**

What was supposed to be a lighthearted outing of shopping for new swimwear and hanging out with friends turned tense as Rin pressed Haru against the wire gate behind them. Rin's gaze was intense with his light crimson eyes boring into the turbulent blues of Haru. His breath was heavy, settling over Haru's top lip smelling of fresh squeezed lemon from a sport's drink Haru guessed he had consumed a few minutes before this moment.

"You're going to swim for me," Rin's tone was demanding of the shorter male as he growled at him. "You're going to give me a fair race."

Haru's hand slid along the holes of the metal gate; his fingers curled around the wires and he clutched them tightly in his grasp. Studying Rin's disposition- the rapid rise of his chest, the tension in his arms that kept him trapped, the twitch in the corner of his lips as Rin grit his teeth- Haru's expression went from surprised to blank. This infuriated Rin looking at his unamused rival, and he pushed his body closer to him.

"You make me sick!" He snarled at Haru who still gave him that same vacant stare; no hint of emotion swirled in those blue irises that were so clear Rin could see his enraged reflection. "Dammit, why are you always so cold?! Didn't you hear me? You're going to give me a fair race!"

Haru still said nothing continuing to observe Rin's actions, noticing the twitch in the corner of his mouth still as he bit his bottom lip. His breathing was more of a huff now, and his arms began to lightly tremor as he held the gate behind him. Rin's gaze never tore from Haru's, and the shorter male could see something swim within those ruby red jewels that tugged at a heart's string.

Rin hung his head feeling somewhat defeated by his failed attempt to get a response from Haru; his plum bangs loosely fell hiding a good portion of his face as they swept across his forehead. He didn't move from in front of Haru keeping his arms locked on either side of the other male as he stared at the ground below. A bunch of fallen cherry blossom petals blew in the light breeze of the beautiful sunny afternoon, and his eyes traced them as floated whimsically along the current.

Sure he had won the race they participated in two weeks ago, but he couldn't allow himself to feel the joys of victory. Haru had been out of shape, as he had pointed out to him earlier, being that he hadn't competitively swam in the past three years. After that race, it was clear to him that Haru had only wanted the swim. Although he knew the other wasn't as competitive as he or others- never really caring about winning or improving his times- it still bothered him. It bothered him down to his very core, and as he stood there wanting to convince himself that Haru saw him as a rival, as an obstacle to want to overcome and got no response? It rather pissed him off.

"What is it you're hoping to accomplish?" that smooth, sultry voice of the other male finally sounded and broke Rin from his musing. He looked into unreadable blue irises once again while own held slight confusion. "What is it you really want?"

"What are you talking about?" Rin asked irritably, cocking an eyebrow as he stood upright once again.

Haru's gaze went from Rin's chest to his face as he looked upward being that he was a little shorter than the man in front of him. "What is it you really want?" he asked him again- calmly and unfazed- placing a hand to Rin's forearm and clenching it. "Why are you so fixated on beating me in a race?"

"Why am I so fixated on a race?" Rin asked disgustedly in a more audible tone than he expected, possibly from the annoyance flaring within him from Haru's self explainable questions. "I want you to race me and actually give a damn!"

"It's more than that," Haru pushed the arm he held backward, but Rin exerted a greater force against him to keep it in place.

"What the hell are you talking about Haru?"

"This isn't just about a race," Haru had answered; his features became stern as he furrowed his brows and his eyes went from reading vacant to peeved. "This isn't about you just beating me, is it?"

Rin's eyes widened and the tension in his body went lax. His heart started to thrash, his lip started to quiver, and he started feeling uneasy with those piercing cerulean eyes judging him with their unwavering stare. "I don't know what you talking about-"

"Bullshit," Haru interrupted Rin's lie and instantly pushed the arm back to free his left side as the other was caught off guard. "There's something more to this here, and you know it."

They held their stare, neither one backing down, but Haru's features softened as he noticed Rin deflating; that ever confident, spirited nature faded as he averted his gaze unable to look Haru in the face. Haru stretched a hand out to grasp Rin's, but the other male hesitantly pulled it away.

"Rin," Haru's voice was soft as the flap of a butterfly's wings, and the compassionate tone it carried made Rin withdraw further.

_I want a fair race, _he had remembered himself saying as he leaned against the gate, shaded by the big cherry blossom tree peeking over from the other side, _unless I can't move on._ Haru had been dismissive of the declaration, turning a cold shoulder to his former best friend as he shot a sideways glare to him. There was desperation behind Rin's statement that should have been recognized earlier by the blue eyed teen; had he noticed it instead of walking away, he wouldn't have gotten followed and pushed into a gate. Rin wouldn't have gotten pissed off, and there would have been no tension thickening in the crisp, light air that surrounded them.

"Haru, I-" Rin's voice was shaky, and he paused, placing his hands in his pants pockets and cursing himself for breaking the way he was in front of his rival hanging his head.

"Is it you feel you have something to prove?" Haru asked stepping forward and closer to Rin, placing a hand gently on his bicep. The other male flinched a bit from the fingertips delicately brushing the fine hairs of his arm. "Is it you feel like you need to win to be acknowledged...by me?"

"Haru, what are you-"

"Winning isn't going to impress me," Haru interjected making Rin's head snap up with his eyes wide and his mouth slightly agape. "Winning isn't going to prove anything to me."

Rin looked into those deep blue eyes and let his gaze fall to Haru's supple, pale pink lips. "What is it you really want?" Rin watched the others lips mouth the words, and he found himself steadily leaning forward. He pressed his own lips to Haru's softly, startling the shorter male.

Haru's eyes bucked open as Rin kissed him, but when the other teen pulled his hands from his pockets, delicately placing them on each underside of Haru's jaw, his heart fluttered. Haru hadn't been expecting to be right about Rin having underlying feelings driving his obsession for him to race him. And even if Rin hadn't verbally agreed, his present deed most certainly confirmed. He let his eyes fall closed as they continued to kiss, and placed his free hand on Rin's other bicep, gently clutching both.

His thoughts drifted back to their race three years before. The hurt striking Rin's features after Haru beat him was a heartbreaking thing to see. Haru had felt defeated himself watching steady streams of free flowing tears run down Rin's tanned cheeks. It was something he had never wanted to experience; the pain of Rin denying his attempt to comfort as Haru reached out to him and walking in the opposite direction without sparing a glance back was something that stuck with Haru over the years.

_This is a twisted relationship we have,_ Haru thought to himself as his hands lazily slid down Rin's toned arms and found purchase on his hips. _Each of us pressured by the other to perform or fall back; both of us drowning in this sea of competition we create between ourselves._ Their kiss deepened as Rin opened his mouth and Haru followed pursuit, sliding his tongue into Rin's hot cavern and lapping at the others wet muscle. _This is why I don't have a competitive spirit. It gets in the way of having moments like this..._

Rin pulled Haru's face closer to his as they continued to kiss and rubbed his thumbs along Haru's smooth, ivory cheeks. He inhaled Haru's scent the breeze carried with it as it blew between them, and it smelled peculiarly familiar. _Like a cherry blossom_, Rin gave a subtle smile in the kiss thinking back to their time at the swim club; he remembered the trees with the small pink blossoms littering it's branches he and Haru always managed to meet under and the time they spent developing their friendship there. _You were special to me back then, and your scents reminds me that you are now, and that's why..._

He pulled back from Haru who opened his eyes slowly; his lips were parted as he lightly panted and his cheeks held a dust of pink. Rin himself looked flushed from the passionate encounter, and he leaned his head forward to rest his forehead against Haru's.

"Haru, I need to redeem myself," he spoke between pants; his voice was a little raspy from non use. "I need to redeem myself for...you."

Haru gripped at Rin's hips tighter as he held them, and he let his hooded eyes fall to the ground beneath them. His heart jumped about his chest as his skin became warm, and he swallowed thickly trying to keep himself composed. "Next time, if you lose, don't resort to crying," he said looking back up into Rin's light red irises. "Don't break down again; don't..." _Don't reject me _is what he wanted to say, but the words became lodged in his throat.

Rin gave a smirk dropping his hands from Haru's face as Haru let go of his hips. There was that rift created between them again as it had been for the past three years from this thing they called a rivalry. "I was younger then," Rin stated, placing his hands in his pockets as he turned on his heels. Making his retreat, he tipped a deuce to Haru goodbye, giving his final request. "Try to gain a little more muscle in the next few weeks," he said, "I'll see you at the tournament."

Watching Rin walk away with his back turned to him, not giving one glance back, Haru fell back to that moment three years before. _I was younger then_ Rin had said, but the pain from his actions still affected Haru even now.

_I hope you're right,_ Haru thought looking to the swaying cherry blossoms branches of the tree they had stood under a few moments ago. _The only thing that's holding me back is you. The only thing that's keeping me from moving forward are your tears..._

/End.

**A/N: Mehhhhh, I don't know how I feel about this...I'm finding that with this fandom, particularly between these two, I find there is a lot of unspoken words or feelings in these episodes. That's the side I'm writing about, and I'm not too sure how I feel about this portrayal. Argh! I hope you enjoyed it, through. Feel free (hehe) to let me know what you think. Until next time...**


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